20 Things My Mother Taught Me

This doesn't have anything do to with fabric, but it's good for a laugh!  Brought to us by Author Unknown...

1. My mother taught me to APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE:
   "If you're going to kill each other, do it outside.  I just finished cleaning."
2. My mother taught me RELIGION:
   "You'd better pray that will come out the carpet."
3. My mother taught me about TIME TRAVEL:
   "If you don't straighten up, I'm going to knock you into the middle of next week!"
4. My mother taught me LOGIC:
   "Because I said so, that's why."
5. My mother taught me MORE LOGIC:"If you fall out of that swing and break your neck, you're not going to the store with me."
6. My mother taught me FORESIGHT:
   "Make sure you wear clean underwear, in case you're in an accident."
7. My mother taught me IRONY:
   "Keep crying, and I'll give you something to cry about."
8. My mother taught me about CONTORTIONIST:
   "Will you look at the dirt on the back of your neck!"
9. My mother taught me about STAMINA:
   "You'll sit there until all that spinach is gone."
10. My mother taught me about WEATHER:
    "This room of yours looks as if a tornado went through it."
11. My mother taught me about HYPOCRISY:
    "If I told you once, I've told you a million times.  Don't exaggerate."
12. My mother taught me the CIRCLE OF LIFE:
    "I brought you into this world, and I can take you out."
13. My mother taught me about BEHAVIOUR MODIFICATION:
    "Stop acting like your father!"
14. My mother taught me about ENVY:
    "There are millions of less fortunate children in this world who don't have the wonderful parents like you do."
15. My mother taught me about ANTICIPATION:
    "Just wait until we get home."
16. My mother taught me about RECEIVING:
    "You are going to get it when you get home!"
17. My mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE:
    "If you don't stop crossing your eyes, they are going to get stuck that way."
18. My mother taught me HUMOUR:
    "When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."
19. My mother taught me WISDOM:
    "When you get to be my age, you'll understand."
20. My mother taught me JUSTICE:
    "One day you'll have kids, and I hope they turn out just like you!!"

Happy Friday!!